G. wrote..
do we ever stop loving after falling in love? they say love changes from passion to comfort to too much care and respect, why should it be so unstable? and if things in nature tend towards stability is the last part of love what love really is and is passion just the trigger? then why do we always seek the passion and feel agitated when it goes away ? does the stability of our feelings reside in the instability of love, passion?
posted by Laila K at
13:27
7 Comments:
it all depends on how you define love. to me love and passion are two seperate entities, with passion being intense and shortlived and love being "the last stage" that you just described..passion does not always turn into love, but once it does you probably won't experience those initial feelings of infatuation and lust (at least not with the same person!), because in my opinion these are in definition dependent on the mystery and stimulation that this fresh lover leaves in your mind.
and i guess with love comes the maturity of finally being ready to let go of our instincts that crave passion, and try to redirect it into new faces of "love" without jeopardizing stability and trust.
From my great personal experience i conclude that you only love with all your heart once in your lifetime. It is that pure love that can break your heart to the extent that it physically hurts. Later, you can love in a more rational way but never with the same passion. I agree with L in that 'love' that lasts is one that's based on trust, comfort and consistency. A kind of friendship (with good extras!). George Sand wrote:
L'amour existe, ce n'est pas une chimère, j'en suis sure à présent. Faut seulement savoir le reconnaitre et se faire humble devant lui. ...
She loved Alfred de Musset, the writer, when they were young and crazy, but they had such an unstable destructive relationship. That movie makes me want to cry everytime i see it - Les Enfants du Siecle - check it out L & G i think you'll both like it(coz we're all a little crazy!)
It's true that you cannot easily combine passion and love, but once it happens it's the most amazing thing ever. The kind of passion that you experience when you truly love somebody is different than the passion that is entirely based on physical attraction, and it does not fade as easily. It has happened to me (of course only once) and it there is no way to describe it, it feels so so so so special, I feel really lucky to have felt like this. (Laila knows how unromantic and cynical I am and now I am sure that she is really surprised to see this thing that I am writing!!!)
Passion has nothing to do with love, and passion has nothing to do with physical attraction. I hate love, it's a stupid concept that attempts to describe something that does not exist, but everyone is convinced that it does exist, and hence people waste a lot of time trying to find it, to give meaning to their existence. At least it tends to create beautiful poetry... Passion on the other hand, let me tell you. Passion is what drives me, and all I want out of life is passion. My passion almost died once, and I almost died with it. Passion is tantalizing, it's electricity. The greatest feeling is when you are with someone and there's so much passion between you, that once you look in each others eyes, you set the entire room on fire. When you kiss her neck and feel shivers down your spine, and when your eyes can exchange more information than a thousand words. The butterflies in your tummy when you're away from her, and your passing out because you forget to breathe when she's around. Passion. When she becomes your drug, and the only cure to your addiction is more of the drug. Once that fire dies, what's the point?
Passion > Love
issam,
passion rules!
you are a very passionate person there is no doubt about that, and it's the constant quest for passion that leaves you feeling down when you can't find it, or when you lose it, whether in work or in "love" life..
but please, try to consider that the other type of feeling (that others call love and you call it what you want-) might exist! you know how important the people you share your life with are when you're passing through a hard time (who drove 10 hrs to see me when i was feeling like shit and looking like a zombie?). that caring and support and protectiveness that's there whether you fail or succeed, whether ur sick or healthy, must count for something!
and it's the most precious thing when it comes from your lover, to be accepted the way you are, with all your imperfections and issues. if these two feelings- passion and what i just described- co-exist, u'd better hold on tight cos u just found what ur looking for.
What about out of culmination of reciprocal respect, caring, loyalty, and affection. Why is it that these feelings, when described as they are, are less meaningful than when they are grouped into the term "love" which is ambiguous and doesn't make any sense? It's just the society and literature imposed human fixation on the term love.
passion... I thrive on passion, I die when it goes away. Maybe I'm just afraid of dying..
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