Thursday, May 11, 2006

suffocating

I can't breath
I'm suffocating
My life is meaningless. what am I doing here?
everyday I'm stuck doing things I hate, being around people I can't stand. unable to say what I really feel. ignoring what I really crave.
I'm sick of it all. I'm sick of all the morons in my life. just leave me alone. fuck off. you bore me, you get on my nerves. no you're not funny nor sexy nor intelligent.
I'm sick of living in this society where everything depends on how much you make how you dress what you buy how you look. how about who you are how you feel what you do what you want? has it gone extinct?
I dont even feel like blogging anymore, I was so close to deleting my blog just now. I mean who cares about what I have to say? it's all garbage. people have their own shit to worry about.
I just want to sleep and wake up and realize that this is all a bad dream.
I want to be 2 years ahead. I want to have a decent job and I want to finally be able to afford things I enjoy.
I want to be with someone I miss. someone I cant wait to see again. Instead everyone I meet bores me. Instead I sit here and dream.
I day dream ALL THE TIME.
I cant stand it anymore.
I'm leaving.

19 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hang in there Laila. Don't give up yet.

10:56 PM  
Blogger Mia said...

Maybe its something about this time of the year but I can feel your pain. I've been feeling the same way lately. Let's hang in there sister our time is coming...

11:37 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

oh my god!!!!
first reaction to the change in the set up. don't you know how i hate change.

11:57 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

ok, don't delete anything.. i'm telling you now, don't. what's up with you people? what you write belong to all of the people who read your posts and get attached to them and even go back to them. so don't do it. otherwise, i hear ya..i'm fucking sick and tired of everything myself and i'm just longing all the time for any kind of change..a signal to keep going..i don't know man..

12:00 AM  
Blogger Laila K said...

moussa, thanks..you're words are always so peaceful
mia, it mactually might be the weather, I just got back from 4 wet sunless days in boston
mirvat, i needed it!

12:01 AM  
Blogger Dry Gin Martini said...

w'eir, what did Ghassan do? am I gonna have to go kick some ass? or are you just PMS'ing?

PS: Don't worry Gus I'm just kidding :P

12:50 AM  
Blogger Dry Gin Martini said...

PSS: I'm sexy AND intelligent AND funny and NOT a moron, no matter what you say haha :P

12:51 AM  
Blogger rouba said...

soooo
i'm still gonna bombard u with phonecalls u know that right? no escape...yalla it's almost over, on to better and bigger things after that
i'll call u tom before i leave

1:17 AM  
Blogger Eve said...

you know, you said everything I'm feeling right now (except for the whole blog delete thing). that phase of "mish tay2a hada bil marra bil marra bil marra"...

P.S. don't commit suicide before you tell me, barkeh we set a date and jump together :p

3:27 AM  
Blogger Ghassan said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:43 PM  
Blogger linalone said...

"I mean who cares about what I have to say? it's all garbage. people have their own shit to worry about."
Beleive me, there is always someone some where who do cares. Don't quit blogging, don't quit writing.I've been suicidal and depressed. It's this blog that saved me.I will write about it soon.
Consider this blog as your own space, write whatever you want it, (defoule-toi). You know what i used to do when i was abroad and depressed, not having anyone to talk to, i used to go to forums such as that of naharnet and say all what i have in my head...Great releif, beleive me.
I'm silly i know...

1:42 PM  
Blogger Ghassan said...

eish bekone ya 3ameh. it's not so bad.

N o
m o r e
m o r b i d i t y
p l e a s e

(can you hear the echo in my voice??)

5:19 PM  
Blogger Laila K said...

lc, calm down babe :P
r, i missed your call :(
eve, yes that would be fun!
linalone, who's not (silly)??
HD, totally making sense, and welcome
gus, it's all ur fault!!

11:23 PM  
Blogger Charles Malik said...

I feel the same way.

I didn't leave my house at all today. I didn't want to see anyone.

I'm tired of the normal routine. I'm tired of being lonely. I'm not happy. I need to go somewhere else.

4:12 PM  
Blogger Laila K said...

LP, it's funny how the most happening places tend to amplify our feelings of aloneness.
you're welcome to visit anytime :) cant promise you anything though, it's the same old story everywhere

4:22 PM  
Blogger raed said...

i feel your pain
i care about your blog
i don't have a cat
pls don't delete anything
you're not alone
i like loubye b zeit

1:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Greets to the webmaster of this wonderful site! Keep up the good work. Thanks.
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7:05 AM  
Blogger inmotion said...

don't delete whatsoever.

Keep writing and entering even after your move.

I've enjoyed reading this blog thus far.

If you don't express what is going on inside of you how are you to understand and how are you to get to the other side?

chin up. I've been there. sometimes I occasionally go back.

But if you remember its just a big there .. that you can walk away from .. you'll get it ..

4:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This site is one of the best I have ever seen, wish I had one like this.
»

8:57 AM  

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