every morning
every morning
in the subway
i watch you sit by
and watch my people die and my country crumble
into pieces before your eyes
and my heart starts to race
and i look away
i switch to Bach and i close my eyes
and i think of them
buried under the ground, homeless, in despair
and i look back at you
how could you let this happen?
is it because we're dark-skinned? is it because we're cheap to you?
this isn't right
and my heart races even more
and i want to throw your books your ipods your newspapers away and scream in the middle of the subway
but i dont
and i close my eyes
and i pray
to no one
because no one is listening
but i am losing my mind
so i pray
posted by Laila K at
07:58
27 Comments:
You're right princess, since no one else seems to care or listen, maybe The Budha will...Budha yefreja 3layna..
it will ake time. may people will die. bu it will end.. it must end..
and we must be sure it ends the right way..
cause a certain end may allow it to begin later again..
btw, my keyboard is eating the "t"s.
Sometimes I think that maybe we ask too much for help from other people and that we don't depend on ourselves to protect our own interest; we end up a vulnurable entity for other stronger ones to manipulate.
I wish we, Lebanese, don't see our differences when we are facing the world, but keep our diversity when we look at each other. If we learn to do that, than maybe nobody can destroy our future again.
Mononoke,
Allah ya3tike sabr wu uwwe.
J.
What logic. We start something and rejoice in the pain that we inflict on others but when the other side responds then all of a sudden we start blaming everyone in sight for our problems except ourselves. Remember Princess that it takes two to tango and that healing does not start unless denial ends.
ghassan, it seems the events prior to these four weeks have escaped from your memory. khilsna ba2a.
Princess - I can understand your pain very well but after every downhill comes an uphill! It MUST end soon .. and Lebanon will be built up again! Your people are wonderful, strong, resiliant and ... proud!
I just read what anonymous 11:01 wrote .. I guess there's a lot to it!
STAY STRONG PRINCESS - WE SUPPORT YOU ALL THE WAY!!
This may sound scary but I believe the human destiny is dependant on us. Even if you do believe in a higher power or God it would appear that this power will not intervene. And why should it? At some point and time we are going to have to learn how to be tolerant and accepting of all people. The stupidest thing in the world is separating human beings by race, color, or religion or any other category for that matter.
If all our religions teach us to love one another and we can’t seem to accomplish this act, why would the higher power even get involved? I don’t think a blatant clear miracle from “God” would do much to change the hatred that is so deeply impeded in the human heart. If it is so difficult to see that the massacre of innocent civilians is wrong then what good are our holy books and faith? How can people of faith and belief justify this? Perhaps that higher power has turned its head away from humanity in disgust.
Our dependence on “things we can not see” has seemed to blind us to the obvious wretched state of our hearts. We always hope that there is something better or higher than our own minds and hearts. We tend to give up being all that we can be and hope that the higher power will be able to fix everything.
You are your own higher power. Your capacity to love is far greater than your capacity to hate. Do not give into despair; don’t put your fate into the hands of anyone else but your own. Cultivate kindness, compassion and tolerance and in time that will spread. If you are a person of faith then put those principles to practice. We are all we’ve got! If there was going to be an answer from on high it would have come by now. The reality is that human beings have to save one another and being a good human being is the ultimate higher power.
you would be surprised how much ppl actually do care. but those who do are, unfortunately, like us; they have power only over themselves.
my "foreign co-workers" and a lot of "my foreign friends" march in the Lebanese protests before I do... they carry lebanese flags. bring me clippings from newspapers. express their grief and anger to me. invite me to drinks so we can talk and debate the war...
don't blame anyone. you can't blame anyone. ppl are nice.
try to smile. and wait it off... do what you do.. write.
z, hayete, please dont insult the canadians :)
i lived in canada and i know that people there are totally aware of what is going on around them even if it doesnt concern them. we used to have demonstrations during iraq invasion, and sleep in tents for the "invisible children" network of africa, when none of us was iraqi nor african.
americans on the other hand, in general, care a shit (the majority i mean, there are exceptions of course as you can see)
when you belong to the most powerful country in the world, with it comes a responsibility to make sure that underpriveledged people are treated justly and that genocides do not just happen unnoticed. so there's something majorly wrong here, that's what i'm saying.
I understand princess, and we both know that not everybody is an ass (this is one thing I keep on repeating), and I understand that it is your frustration that is forcing you to blame some ppl. when you take a step back and take a deep breath, you'll go back to talking and mingling with them "normally".
we don't know how to hate. we can't hate.
screaming in the subway is not a bad idea though... pick and empty wagon and do it.
Hey Princess..I've been reading ur blog for the past few weeks now, after what u just wrote, I would like to let u know that u're not alone, we're all with u...Hang in there..from what I've been reading I know u're a strong person! Its just unacceptable whats happening in Lebanon and Palestine..and such a shame that it actually exist people with so much hate and greed like the gov.of Israel and its partners..
Eventho' I'm not Lebanese nor Palestine, I am muslim..Indonesian to be exact..I'm starting to worry a lil bit now..since Indonesia is one of the biggest muslim population in the world...there might be a chance that the next "War on Terrorism" would be in my country..
Anyhow...I just want to let u know that everytime I pray, I pray for you, for lebanon, for palestine and for all the people who just want to have peace in this world...Once again, hang in there Princess, stay strong!!!
Take really good care of urself..
princess, i've been in this country long enough and i've had a lot of american friends. i wouldn't be friends with a person who wouldn't care. the vast majority are small people, small minds and small lives like in any other country. plus it's a fat country, too isolated and self-sufficient and almost completely detached from the world.
but like _z said, like in any other country a lot know and suffer and act. it's not everybody.
calm down princess.
it's called the T in Boston dear,
and who's the other ghassan?!
(like the poet said, why do we pray and god 'ma yefham 3arabeh'!)
someone high above will ultimately listen.
I pray too.
love your site
we keef ilon 3ein yinfkhouna aghane wataniyyeh mnijdeed?
we 7yatelli ra7ou...
eh shou?
we dakhlik wein elsayyid mambayyan?
So if you feel this way every morning, there is something terribly wrong.
You are obvisouly living in the wrong place. You are wasting your life.
at least, that is how i feel every day.
it's another morning here. I read your post again, except that here, I'm taking the bus..
...
You know something ... at least we still have new mornings ...
E.. Kilo hayen 2edem my mornings and my days
Princess L (I mean M)... you should submit this! :) Fz
Call for Submissions: Lebanon is Burning
Mizna, a journal of Arab-American literature, is seeking original writing
for our upcoming publication, with a focus on the current situation in
Lebanon. We welcome journal entries from the ground, poetry, short stories,
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dear princess.. I'm thinking about you and your people every day.. another mistress of "mononoke" with all the legacy meanings.. another girl like me.. but you are there and you are living an absurd war.. as every war are absurd.. only the power is the reason of this absurdity.. I agree with you.."and i close my eyes
and i pray
to no one
because no one is listening
but i am losing my mind
so i pray" .. but only one thingh more .. we listen your pray.. we're praying toghether.. we're screaming toghether.. I embrace you
Awesome piece. Am praying with you!
god save lebanon, and resistance, because no one else will.
I lost faith bel 3alam kello ...
the only thing that will keep us going is 'us' (i.e. ne7na, not the us of a) ... inshallah our government and all parties act smart so that we stay strong, otherwise ... i don't want to even think of otherwise.
Hello,
I appreciate your very sensitive and constructive writing.
We have been constructing a Lebanese portal: Bluleb at http://www.bluleb.com
Please support us by linking to it!
In exchange, feel free to submit your blog in the public sections.
Thank you!
Linus
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