Friday, August 11, 2006

are you politically correct?

'The rules of Political correctness'

"Rule # 1 : In the Middle East, it is always the Arabs that attack first, and it's always Israel who defends itself. This is called "retaliation".

Rule # 2: The Arabs, whether Palestinians or Lebanese, are not allowed to kill Israelis. This is called "terrorism".

Rule # 3: Israel has the right to kill Arab civilians, this is called "self-defense", or these days "collateral damage".

Rule # 4: When Israel kills too many civilians. The Western world calls for restraint. This is called the "reaction of the international community".

Rule # 5: Palestinians and Lebanese do not have the right to capture Israeli military, not even a limited number, not even 1 or 2.

Rule # 6: Israel has the right to capture as many Palestinians as they want (Palestinians: around 10,000 to date, 300 of which are children, Lebanese: 1000s to date, being held without trial). There is no limit; there is no need for proof of guilt or trial. All that is needed is the magic word: "terrorism"

Rule # 7: When you say "Hezbollah", always be sure to add "supported by Syria and Iran"

Rule # 8: When you say "Israel", never say "supported by the USA, the UK and other European countries", for people (God forbid) might believe this is not an equal conflict.

Rule # 9: When it comes to Israel, don't mention the words "occupied territories", "UN resolutions", "Geneva conventions". This could distress the audience of Fox.

Rule # 10: Israelis speak better English than Arabs. This is why we let them speak out as much as possible, so that they can explain rules 1 through 9. This is called "neutral journalism".

Rule # 11: If you don't agree with these rules or if you favor the Arab side over the Israeli side, you must be a very dangerous anti-Semite. You may even have to make a public apology if you express your honest opinion"
(isn't democracy wonderful?)
Also, check out Ari Shavit's new article in Haaretz: Olmert cannot remain in the prime minister's office
note: to those of you who haven't noticed the quotation marks at the beginning and end of this post, please do. I recieved this as an email and thought it was worth posting it here. apparently it was translated from french by Maya (happy now Maya?)

23 Comments:

Blogger Ostfen said...

Smartly hilarious and factually correct at the same time:)

9:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had a sweet sour laugh because all of that is true. Princess, you have nicely summed up the MEPC (middle-east political correctness). There, I just created a four letter acronym for it.

10:17 AM  
Blogger AM said...

Supposed to be funny, ended up being true, hehe.

10:17 AM  
Blogger Zanzounito said...

Democracy? Never heard of it!

10:19 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

we don't even need to Caricaturize the media anymore, it's amazing that this is true.

11:43 AM  
Blogger rouba said...

hahaha mni7a!
that's why we hate political correctness..

12:58 PM  
Blogger Ghassan said...

:)

1:50 PM  
Blogger lifeflaw said...

This is my favorite post since the war started. :)s

3:52 PM  
Blogger J. said...

very true

6:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is good material for a stand up comic . It is entertaining but no more than that.

10:15 PM  
Blogger Ana Min Beirut - أنا من بيروت said...

uffff!!! Hilweh ....Ktir Hilweh....

5:12 AM  
Blogger u nonnu said...

DAYS OF WAR


Days of war,
time for pain,
poor dead children,
they can’t complain.

The men of terror
are rockets throwin’,
an’ war planes answer
with carpet bombin’.

The fightin’ sides tell
they’re both right,
they blame each other,
no peace in sight.

Our useless talks
won’t persuade,
the end of war
just seems to fade.

Time goes on,
things don’t change,
the word I hear?
Just one: revenge!

The rich men dwellin’
across the ocean?
They watch and wait
for more…distruction.

So people’s starvin’,
all skin and bones
the world’s attendin’
makin’ war loans.

Now a free nation
it’s in a rage
Yeah, they’ve been trapped,
mice in the cage.

They count each hour
with a sure blast
and nobody knows
how long it’ll last.

Many crossed talks,
they wrote some files
then shook their hands
but with fake smiles.

As the real reasons
remain untold,
there bodies lie,
all dead and cold.

The mothers cry,
death all around,
young boys and girls
rest on the ground.

It’s a heavy burden
no one can bear,
as all our words
just took nowhere.

They’re deaf and sneer
to mournin’ an’ sob
and armed with blinkers,
they’ll end the “job”.

But my heart grieves
over one question:
who’ll avail of this
unfair aggression?

No matters what
or who’s to blame:
God, stop the war,
their cruel game!


To the innocent people
dead in Lebanon and Israel
03.08.2006

2:53 PM  
Blogger _z. said...

hehe! I received it in french (han han han).
I liked it.

3:23 PM  
Blogger Karin said...

Beautiful, just beautiful!!

4:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Israel is a tiny patch of land occupied by Jews since the days of Abraham thousands of years ago. The Arabs have thousands of square miles of land and many countries to see out their lives. Why not allow a relatively small group of people, probably no more that 5 or 6 million to live without concern.
No boycotte or army can destroy the combined force of the mighty USA and Israel. We stand as one superpower and ask to be left alone to build our small homeland in peace. You have Indonesia, Iran, Syria, Egypt, Yemen, UAE, and the list goes on and on...
Continue, and you will have nothing. The USA will always be at the top of the food chain. Life goes on daily without more than a fleeting glance at the problems of the Arab situation. Why not get on with life and more on? You will be able to maintain your cities instead of spanding billions of dollars rebuilding South Beirut. What a waste of live, money and effort! Surely, you must see that the US views the current situation as a means to test its weapons, prop up our good friends, Israel. Afterall, much to Mel Gibson's concern, most of our famour Hollywood executives are Jewish. Well, I can go on and on... you know what I mean. In the USA, we still go to the beach, see movies, and generally enjoy life to the max. SO... best get on with yours and leave this little piece of land and its people in Israel alone and surely you will be much better off.
Comments can be sent to:

8:14 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

michael rubin,
if you really want to use the history card:
israel, falestin (palestine)and leb'n (lebanon), are lands that were inhabited by the semites (of which descended the arabs and the jews). they lived side by side without problems for ages.
then a tribe called the khazars that lived in eastern europe at 740 A.D. decided to adopt the jewish faith for political reasons. these jews then became the zionist (the Ashkenazi jews)that lead the zionist movement and that had oppressed even the real jews, the biblical jews.
what happened to your history books? did they burn them too? i know a little bookstore on lex and 47 that can do you some good.

and if you really want israel to live in peace, control its arms like you do iran, how about that? israel had been using them you know!! and while we're at it, what do the palestinians have?
we saw the mighty israeli army shaking and breaking down. american jews are starting to revolt against the terrorist state that is israel and they refuse that this state represents them. no empire prevails forever and the day will come.

and americans are living and happy? of course, they're completely detached from reality and they don't know what they're getting into.
but take a look at that.
http://lebanonheartblogs.blogspot.com/2006/08/will-of-life.html

4:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Next time you post an entry, it would be nice that you either make it your own or at least give the person you took it from credit.
I got this email in French and did all the leg work to translate it into English and make it relevant to English-speaker readers.
I published it on my blog on July 26th. You just copy, pasted it into your blog. I don't mind but the proper thing is to give credit and cite my blog (with a link at least).
Thank you and no hard feelings!
Maya

4:38 PM  
Blogger Laila K said...

maya, chill.

i have never visited your blog until i saw your comment. i dont know who you are, i recieved this as an email from an unknown source, and i posted it. period.
you legwork is much appreciated though.

you're welcome.

4:46 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

princess, thank you for all your work and your posts trying to show, as we all are, the real stories and what really is happening to our country. i know how demanding your work is and how stressed out you are since you just started in a new job.
so thank you so much for still finding the time and being, like we all should be, another selfess lebanese who is heratbroken for her country and who fights in her own way.

5:03 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

SAD BUT TRUE.
SAD BUT TRUE.
SAD AND SAD.

11:19 PM  
Blogger FZ said...

so awfully funny... :)

10:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Lebanese (prisoners): 1000s to date"

that is incorrect. There are indeed thousands of Palestinian prisoners in Israel, but only 4 Lebanese, from whom 2 died, one is Israeli of Lebanese desent and the fourth, Samir Kuntar was sentenced to life after a court trial in which he also proudly confessed to the killing of 4 people in Israeli territory, including a 4-year old child whos skull he broke himself. I guess your thousands of Lebanese prisoners are in Syria somewhere...

As for kidnapping Israeli soldiers from Israeli territory (not from Lebanese soil) that is indeed illegal according to Geneva.

This is just propaganda. Not funny, and not contributing to peace either.

5:57 AM  
Blogger Tainted Female said...

This was sent to me by a friend... I have to say it's the funniest little piece I've read in a long time.

Brilliant, really.

Bravo.

3:30 PM  

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